Just for Today....

"'For I know the plans I have for you,'says the Lord.  'They are plans to prosper you and not to harm you  To give you a future and a hope."  Jeremiah 29:11

Out of my first meeting with Ty and Brenda - my co-counselors, this is the verse that was given me.  I am trying to meditate on this and yet I don't see where I fit in.  I always feel discombobulated, uncomfortable and out of place.  I often want to do something and then I don't see how it could ever work, so I give up.  I am easily discouraged because I tend to believe the lies that satan tells.  Oh, if only I could hear God's voice as loudly as I hear the devil.  But that is another trick of satan.  He stands up and yells and jumps up and down - "Look at me, look over here.  LOOK!!!  LOOK!!!"  And all the while, during the time the child who throws a tantrum for attention, God is sitting there patiently waiting on me to get still in the midst of it all so that I can listen to His voice above the chaos.  If only I could turn the voice of satan down to mute.  I know there has to be a way. 

Of course this morning has been challenging because I actually got up and for the first time since Lent, I did my morning devotionals.  I recognize that now, at this moment - AFTER the rage already came and I scared the dogs into their crate.  I feel such a sense of failure.  I know that is satan's voice.  Lord, just for today - give me relief in the midst of what is going to be.  Just for today, show me your love in ways that are unexplainable.  Just for today, Lord - be by my side, coach my every step and reveal yourself.  Just for today be my shelter in the storm.  Just for today, be my strong tower.  Just for today, give ME your courage to face what is.  Lord, just for today..... 

And just for today, I am going to trust you with all that I have - my fears AND my failures, my hopes AND my fears, my dreams AND my nightmares, my loves AND my enemies - Lord reveal yourself to me.  Lord, as you whisper words of encouragement and love, give me the ability to hear amid the confusion that satan has created.  In fact, Lord just for today, BIND up his tongue so that the lies coming from his lips are garbled in a way that I cannot understand him.  Just for today, give me peace beyond understanding.  Just for today, give me ears that only hear you...  Just for today.  Amen and so be it.