Vicki's Victory

During the time I was getting ready to move, I sent out an email to a few trusted friends and family to pray for God's direction on where I was to go. One of the responses I received was from Lenny, a fellow church member and my niece's step-grandfather (my brother's ex-girlfriend's mom's husband) who had often taken in people who needed a place to stay. He offered a room for me, if needed. But at the time, I had committed to moving in with my brother and his family. At the time Lenny offered me a place to stay, his wife, Vicki was undergoing tests to find out why she was falling and seemed to be losing strength in her left leg.

Early in May 2008, Vicki was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease). It was shortly after when God started speaking to me about moving in with them to assist with Vicki. I had been blessed to have worked in a job that taught me how to care for other's physical needs and I was comfortable with the things that most cringe about. So at the beginning of June, God moved my heart and my home to Avon, IN. Initially, there was nothing I needed to do, but later in the year, Vicki stopped being able to walk on her own. From then on, it was as if about every three weeks, Vicki lost more and more independence. By Christmas, we were all well aware that this was probably her last Christmas here on earth. She was in a hospital bed in her living room from this point on.  Daily, Vicki was losing muscle mass and she grew increasingly sensitive to things like wrinkles in her bed sheets - they were more like a rugged terrain under her body. Hairs that had fallen off her head and onto the bed were like sticks poking her bare skin. What most people take for granted, snuggling in and adjusting for a comfortable night's sleep turned into 2 or more hours of smoothing wrinkles, de-hairing the bed, removing dirt particles and adjusting her arms, legs and head into positions that would be semi-comfortable for the next 8 hours while she attempted to sleep. More often than not, during these times, we found things to laugh and joke about. Once, after taking her pain med, she asked me to put my left foot under her right leg and smooth the sheet. Unaware of what she had just asked and exhausted from the constant moving of her limbs, I followed her command and we both laughed until we had tears running down our cheeks. During the worst of the worst times, when she was scared or hurting or frustrated, she would ask for us to pray with her. I cannot remember a time when she asked "why me?" Instead, she asked that God use this for His glory. In the time I had the awesome blessing of being in Vicki's presence as she deteriorated, it was as if each obstacle only brought her closer to our Lord and Savior in her spirit. In those 11 months I spent with Vicki, I learned what faith meant - to live it each day, to wake up and give it ALL to God - to trust even when everything seems to be hanging in the balance. "Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen" Hebrews 11:1.

Early in the first week of May 2009, Vicki's sister was over as she was often to help, visit or just be there and Vicki was having a very painful and difficult evening. She asked me to pray and just before I did, she lifted her head as much as she could and looked me square in the eye and said, "Pray what is on your heart, not what you think I want you to pray." So I prayed that God would provide a miracle recovery, but only if it was His will. If not, then that he take her quickly and not make her suffer long.

On May 8th, I told Lenny to go to bed and I would stay down with Vicki that night so that he could get sleep. This was the usual for the weekends - I worked full time during the week while Lenny cared for Vicki 24 hours a day - total care. He fed her, assisted her in personal care and so on. It was more exhausting than anyone could possibly imagine. That night, Vicki could not get comfortable which was not unusual, but this night was different.  It had been almost two weeks since she had eaten and her urine was dark brown.  She was unusually restless and unable to get any relief from the pain.  The next morning, I went to bed around 9AM absolutely exhausted from moving arms and legs about every 15 minutes throughout the night. Sitting the bed up and laying it down. Smoothing out wrinkles and readjusting her legs. Tilting her head to one side and then to the other. I fell asleep quickly. At noon, there was a knock on my bedroom door - Tonya (Vicki's daughter and the mother to my niece) said that her mom was getting ready to go to the hospital and wanted me to know. Something within me knew that this was the last time she would be in her home. I spent that afternoon sleeping while the family was at the hospital helping the doctors and nurses calm Vicki, who was fighting everything because of sheer exhaustion and emaciation. She fought with all she had. The next five evenings, I went to visit and sit with Vicki at the hospital. Family was there almost constantly, friends and church family in and out. Vicki was incoherent most of the stay but did communicate that she was ready to "go home". With the faith that Vicki had, I am certain she meant Heaven. I went to work the morning of May 15th and shortly after noon, I received the call from Vicki's sister that she had passed away. Lenny had called Tom and Tonya (Vicki's children) to come to the hospital, but did not tell them she had passed to ensure their safe arrival. I picked up Vicki's mother and headed to the hospital. She was also unaware that Vicki had already gone to Heaven. The rest of the day and next few days were a blur. But in the end, Vicki's life counted for the Kingdom of Jesus - lives were transformed by her courage and faith to stand in the face of adversity, physical pain and even death with the strength of her Maker.